“I love movie trailers.” Andy Lau states in “Full Time Killer”.
“They take all of the best scenes from a movie and put them on screen for you to enjoy in a couple of minutes.”
It occurred to me at that point, not for the first time, that movie trailers are simply calculated lies. If you’d seen the trailers for Hollywood Homicide in the US, in which it was pitched as a comedy (it bombed) compared to the trailers in the UK, in which it’s pitched as a dark, edgy cop action film (it should bomb), it’s clear that you can say anything about a movie, with skillful editing.
But no movie trailer in history will ever lie as skilfully and depressingly as any trailer for a video game.
What you’re watching most likely won’t be the best part of the game. I’d be surprised if it’s even in the game – in a cut-scene, if you’re lucky. And yet, with all my cynicism, I could not help but love the ECTS MGS3 trailer, which does exactly what I hate for game trailers to do.
It sells the game as if it is a movie.
And the reason I hate it is the reason I love it.
I didn’t take a video of it, because the screen it was shown on was so bad, that you would get an angled, pixellated view of it and have no idea what was going on. I was hoping it would be all over the Internet by now. It doesn’t exactly seem to be, but I’m sure you can find it.
If it does not send shivers up your spine with excitement and joy, then you, quite possibly, have no soul.
What is the best part of MGS2? As a man who hasn’t played it past the tanker but always means to, I can tell you definitively. It’s the credits sequence. At the EIGF Harry Gregson-Williams joked, “This could very well be the beginning of ‘The Rock’.” And it was true. But it was a brilliant cinematic experience, and I’m sure, exactly what Hideo Kojima wanted.
The credits sequence of MGS3 is seen in the ECTS trailer. It is this – ROCK. The game is set in the 60’s and the music is everything a Bond theme should be today – knowingly kitsch but so superbly done you cannot help but love it. As it reaches it’s crescendo Rika Muranaka sings the subtitle ‘Snake Eater’ with the kind of seductive power that manages to trump Shirley Basset in every way. But that’s not all.
After the credits, a crocodile floats towards the camera, and with the epitome of a James Bond trumpet flourish – Big Boss pops out of the fucking water wearing the crocodile as a hat.
Big Boss is SO HARD he can wear a crocodile as a FUCKING HAT.
Did we see a single moment of anything that could possibly be gameplay? No. Did I learn anything about the game itself or even the story? No. But was I so completely sucked in that I loved every second of the cinematic experience? Yes.
And I suggest you listen to the theme on loop while you read this article.
[next: Tactical Espionage Action!]